Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Why?

Today is one of my "why?" days.

My radiation burn is peeling.  It itches and hurts.  The cavity where my tumor used to be is now the sole target of a stronger radiation treatment.  And it aches.  And all I can do is ask why.

I don't want to know why I have to go through this.  I want to know why I am so fortunate.  Why was I spared the pain of a larger tumor...the emotional turmoil of mastectomy...the sickness and hair loss of chemo?  Why do I get to live when cancer takes the lives of so many who deserve to live?

These answers are not mine to know.  But still I wonder why.  And I am grateful that I get to do that wondering.

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