I Have Cancer

I always kind of expected I would someday develop breast cancer.  I have family history.  I have lots of high-risk factors.  Someday it would likely be inevitable.

I didn't expect today would be the day.

Last week I had what they call an "excision biopsy" done on a little tiny mass on my left breast. The radiologist found the teensy little spot on my mammogram last October.  It's amazing that he found it.  It was literally the size of a grain of sand.  But in the vein of better safe than sorry I decided to have it removed for biopsy (because it was too small for a needle biopsy).  Nobody thought it would be anything.  It didn't feel like a cancerous mass.  It was too even.  Cancerous lumps are usually abnormally shaped.  This was smooth and round.  But the biopsy went on.

Today the surgeon called.  She was quite surprised to find that the tissue around the little mass was indeed cancerous.

I left work and went to the surgeon's office and learned much about what lies ahead.  The good news is that this is stage zero breast cancer safely confined to the ducts that carry milk to the nipple.  It really isn't even able to spread beyond the ducts.  I almost feel guilty saying that I have cancer because it's such a very curable cancer.  But it is, nonetheless, cancer.  And it's scary regardless of my prognosis.

In a couple more weeks I'll return to the operating room to have more tissue removed from the offending area.  And then will come radiation therapy.  And perhaps tamoxifen pills for five years.  I'll be meeting oncologists and learning things I never wanted to know.

Writing often helps me to cope.  And perhaps by doing it in a public forum, my writing might someday help someone else to cope.  Thus the blog.  The Big C and Me.  It's an interesting journey ahead.  Thanks for coming along for the ride.